Building a new home is a labor of love. However, when you tell family and friends about your new endeavor they will laugh nervously and glance around the room. They will pull you toward a private corner and ask you if you enjoy being married. They will wonder with concern if you have a divorce attorney waiting for a call when the forty-third fight between you and your spouse over the what kind of counter tops you should put in breaks out. They will implore you to think of the children! Think of your family for god sake! Armageddon! Abandon all hope! For love can not with stand building a new home!
Here are some tips to get the house of both your dreams while staying happily married.
1. Stay calm. You’re just building a home not saving lives. It is so much easier to take in what is being said and felt when voices aren’t raised and your eyes remain firmly planted in your sockets. Just ask your builder to educate you in the pros and cons of each decision. Chances are they know so much more than you do about products, building practices and all things construction.
2. Laugh. Laugh with your builder, laugh with your spouse, laugh with your kids. Laughter is truly the best medicine for whatever disagreement you may have.
3. Remember there are such things as happy mistakes. No they are not like unicorns. They actually happen and you can usually reach right out and touch them.
4. Be flexible. Bend a little here, bend a little there. Flexibility is a higher state of being that others will welcome.
5. Be happy. If you are lucky enough to build a home you are lucky enough. Do not look at it like a nonpaying second job or worse yet a second job you have to pay to work. Share the decision making burden with each other.
6. Karma. If you are not a believer you will be after you build a home. I have seen it a hundred times. If you have a negative attitude Karma will reach out and slap you right upside the head faster than you can say “I just want everything my way!” It will sabotage everything from selling your current home in a timely manner to having your dinner come out of the oven burnt to a crisp.
7. Keep the end in sight. Sure there will be some compromise, there will be some hurt feelings, there might even be some tears but in the end when you do your final walk-thru you won’t be able to stop smiling. All the bad stuff will magically fade into the ether.
Building a home is like having children. There will be times when you ask, “What were we thinking?” In the end, however, you will see that everything will turn out just fine and it will be much better if you are there to share it together.
I am Erica, and I help you buy the house you can afford and make it a home you love. Finding a home you can afford can be one of the most important financial decisions you make. Making it the home you love can be one of the most rewarding things you do.
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